TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES and leave your past at the door.

Our past - It defines us, it guides us, it will even destroy us if we’re not careful. 

I’ve spent years beating my past, chipping away at the edges and building a new life with the bricks I create.

But sometimes it still leads me around like a monkey in a bad circus. Takes a hold of the leash and drags me through an old hell only to flatten all the new foundations I’ve built.

Our past can be venomous, a lethal mix of warped imagination based off the hurt others have caused you. It stains the hopes and dreams you’ve somehow found in a world of billions and tears you away from what’s important.

You can waste countless hours worrying about things that aren’t even there. You’ll create problems out of thin air because you’re expecting them to repeat themselves. You'll say things to loved ones who never deserved to hear them from your lips and all because you’re living with the memories of past hurts.

There’s no shame in not having fully controlled it yet, the shame comes from the devastation you’ll bring into your new life, with beautiful people who played no part in the old one. The shame comes from you knowing you didn’t need to ruin that moment, but you went ahead and did it anyway.

"A man /woman who does not take their shoes off when entering your heart, is ready to leave at any moment. That person did not come to stay. They came to visit."

By letting my past dictate parts of my conscience, I’ve almost become that visitor. I’d left my shoes on. I was subconsciously preparing to move on because I was expecting the past to repeat itself.

Why? Because that’s what I know. My past has a sick loop attached to it. A fucked up Groundhog Day with a violent shield I put up the second I feel threatened. Shield up, sword drawn ready to fight. I won't be beaten. But to never lose in defensive means you actually never win either. Sure, you scare away the demons, but only to be left standing there alone on the battlefield as the enemy retreats back to the castle for festivities. An empty battlefield is a very lonely place.

Don’t waste time on your past unless you’ve harnessed it for positivity. Don’t waste time on people who mean fuck all and can never take what's yours anyway. Don’t exert immense energy on people who don’t even know you exist.

Cut the serpent off at the head. Look forward, see what’s real and valuable then focus on it. If you’re in a relationship that blows your mind, it’s because you deserve to be there, you’ve earned it. Don’t let the past steal a single minute of it.

Take off your shoes, settle in and enjoy the moment you’re in, not the ones you think are coming.

It’s my goal from this day onwards to never look back and leave my past at the door.

Celebrate them.

Lots of us have had that thought at the end of a relationship that their partner will never be as happy without them as they were with them, especially if they're the ones who don't want the relationship to end. But as we all know, that's usually not the case. People move on and find happiness elsewhere. Plus that happiness you think they had with you, might be colored a little brighter than the happiness they remember.

One of the biggest blows you'll have besides the initial break up is when you realize they are happy without you. That they're living their life and not trapped in the same cloud of misery you're in. It hurts, because it doesn't line up with what you thought to be true and you make it about you. You think their new found joy is somehow a reflection on you and it makes you feel even worse. That people are just better without you.

But that's usually not the case. You're self worth needs to be independent from any relationship you have. The fact is, you may have had a great relationship until you didn't. When it broke down and you both couldn't figure out a way to get back to that good place, then you split. Of course, when someone loses someone they once loved and that person is now a source of huge pain, there will be a transition period afterwards and the chance of them finding another new shiny person who'll flood them with warm feelings is high.

When it happens to your ex, celebrate it. You won't want to. You'll want to do just the opposite. But celebrate it instead. Because someone you love is doing well. We shouldn't need to be in a "relationship", with them in order for us to recognize that is a good thing. It doesn't even have to be another relationship they find, it could be anything that fulfills them and brings them a smile. 

Celebrate it.

Because when you do, you'll find their state of being says nothing about yours. Only you are responsible for looking after yourself and a big step in that is letting go of any unnecessary anger that isn't truly justified. Negative emotions can affect our daily existence like we're wearing a ball and chain. Hard to move, hard to live with that weight around us.

Let it go. Remember, you wanted the best for them, to protect them and cherish them. Do that no matter your label to them. Because you might just find that when you celebrate the joy of another, makes it easier for them to be happy for our successes as well. When we support each other, great things can be created.

Let's all create something great together by celebrating each other, always.

Unless they were truly an abusive asshole, then fuck em!

How Beautiful are the People who Appear out of Nowhere.

The most beautiful ones, are the people who appear out of nowhere and without a motive. The ones who just sit next to you and smile. You smile back, and from this simple, kind exchange a real friendship is born.

There were people in my life for whom I fought so hard. To whom I gave and gave, then gave even more. I received back in drops, every now and then just so they would ensure I wouldn't dissappear. There were people from whom I only received excuses, therefore I started associating love with war. The kind of war I would fight until blood would show, if possible. But love is peaceful and it should redress your ballance in this upside world. There are moments when you can't understand this and you fight. Until the very end, hoping to save as many wounded as possible. In the end you realize, the victims are the ones that fought to save themselves.

If you don't feel at home near a person, leave. 

If you don't feel your heart breath easier after a hard day, leave. 

If you don't see your eyes smile more then cry, leave. 

If you feel on a permanent alert in a place you should rest, put your weapons down and leave. 

Be wise and understand when it's time to end a fight. 

Love and friendship are not battlefields where you dress your wounds without cleaning them first.

Love is an oasis of peace you find confort in, after a day of fighting society's dragons. Friendship is a shoulder you lean on, without being afraid of it's grip.

How beautiful are the ones we love who once appeared out of nowhere!