Keep Calm. It's Just a Movie. And You Should Watch It.

Source : Google.com

Hello everyone.

Go see the "Fifty Shades of Grey" movie.

Yes, it's a crap book, and we know the film won't portray BDSM in a realistic light (but it may do) Everyone I know has a different take on what is "the right way" to do fetish, and this film is just another version.

But Support the film.

"WTF?" you asked.

This that moment where you say, "But man, the story is crap, the grammar is crap, the metaphors are crap, the author's English would not have passed high school testing, it's a terrible representation of BDSM community, why in God's name are you advocating the movie?"

Here's why :

While I agree with every detractor regarding the books and the abusive nature of the story, the TRUTH IS - love it or hate it - that this book and this story have brought a MUCH WIDER ACCEPTANCE of BDSM IN GENERAL.

Over 100 Million copies of the books have been SOLD, and that number does not even include illegal downloads of the book, people lending the book, and the Waiting Lists at local libraries of people who want to read the book.

To give you some perspective, if we consider only people over the age of 18, that means about ONE IN EVERY 40 LITERATE ADULTS ON EARTH HAS OBTAINED THIS BOOK.
(Find my mathematical expression at the end of the blog.)

What this means is that, that "secret subject", that "taboo topic" of BDSM and D/s relationship is now FIRMLY OUT OF THE CLOSET ON A GLOBAL SCALE.

Does this mean that all these newcomers are getting a Good, Positive Idea of what BDSM is About?

Hell No.

50 Shades of Grey – the book and what we’ve seen so far of the film – is an inaccurate depiction of a BDSM relationship.

I don't know if you know that the BDSM community is entirely centred around the concept of consent. Consent is the very cornerstone of BDSM play. Those in the real-life BDSM community never indulge in kinky play without the consent of another. There can be no coercion or begging involved; it must be a consensual exchange of sexual and physical energy.

Throughout any BDSM scene, from the very beginning to the very end, consent must be positively and consistently given – and yet, many of the scenes in 50 Shades appear to happen without the consent of Anastasia, the submissive. Without consent, there can be no BDSM play.

Without consent, it is abuse.

It seems that even the author, E.L. James, misunderstands what a real BDSM community is like. Her “hunk”, Christian Grey, is a character that engages in sado-masochistic behaviour because he suffered through an abusive childhood, and at the end of the book, he is “cured” of his deviances and goes on to marry his partner, have children and live a vanilla life.

This is painfully wrong in two major ways. First, the implication that S&M is an outlet for a person’s inner demons because they are “damaged” degrades the many, many people who enjoy kink in a sane, safe way. Second, the implication that a victim of domestic abuse can eventually change the behaviour of his or her abuser is an incredibly troubling message to send out. Love, unfortunately, does not save all.

The very fact that you’re reading this blog also helps to maintain a healthy conversation around sexuality and the concepts of both Risk Aware Consensual Kink and “safe, sane and consensual”, two standards to which most in the BDSM community adhere. If you do nothing else today, look up those terms and learn a little more about what BDSM really is.

AT LEAST people are now OPEN TO TALKING ABOUT IT.

Supporting this movie means that, if box office ticket sales are good, then Hollywood will "Green Light" the next two books being made into films as well. That means about THREE YEARS during which This Will Be an Open Topic to Discuss.

This is - In Fact - an AMAZING opportunity to Educate the masses in WHY we/you find BDSM and D/s so profoundly Beautiful.

Do not curse the "Darkness of Nonsense" that 50 Shades vomits forth.

Rather, light a single torch - your knowledge of the Real World of Safe, Sane & Consensual BDSM and D/s - and bring your light into the darkness.

For the maths freak out there:

Average maximum age = 72 (globally)

Subtract 18 and under = 25%.
Seven Billion People on Earth x .75 = 5,250,000,000.
According to UNESCO there are approximately 1 Billion Non-Literate adults in the world = 4,250,000,000 Adult Readers.
Divide that by 100 Million Book Sales = 42.5.
And that does not include illegal downloads - the book started as an ebook and a search for "Fifty Shades Free Download" yields 9,850,000 pages on Google.
Add borrowing and sharing the book as well as libraries etc, and 1 out of every 42.5 is actually figuring too high.
So if we add in 5 Million non- purchased views conservatively, it's actually more like 1 out of every 40 people have read/obtained this book.

Your Soul For A Kiss!

Source : Google.com

Staring intently into her eyes feeling the power of the draw of that first kiss, he slowly break away and move closer to her ear with his lips. “I am going to take your soul”, he whispered. Feeling his breath on her neck as a tingle ran down her spine, she replied “How can you do that?” His response was, “Simply with a kiss.” She stood there looking at him in total disbelief knowing it was true and wanting it to happen. But in an act of bold defiance she said, “You cannot do that, that is impossible” and laughed.

"Once we kiss I will draw you in and you will have no choice to but to accept."

"But how do you even know where my soul lives?"

"Oh, I know where it lives, I have been there before, it lives in the delicate space behind your heart and my kiss will call its name."

With that simple but truthful statement a gust of wind came out of the sky and encircled them in its arms. Together they stood there catching their breath; she staggered a little and fell into his chest. He grabbed her and pulled her close when she whispered in his ear, “Take what you want, as it’s already been yours for years.”

With that said they started to kiss. Painfully slow the pull of attraction being drawn together without turning back but she teased him and pulled away with a smile and a little laugh. Then he placed one hand gently on her face the other in her hair, their lips drew together like magnets and hearts pounding together as one. Their slightly parted lips touching and opening to feel the full wetness of mouths as weakness and desire came over them, she could feel him growing against her hip. But they agreed nothing more would happen, other than this kiss.

Lips locked together perfectly, tongues moving in unison, exploring and finding bliss. A wave of dizziness came over her and she let out a tiny moan which made him kiss her even harder. Breaking away she took her tongue and traced his lips imparting a gentle kiss and playfully biting his lower lip. Returning to fully embracing his mouth they kissed for hours that day, loving every sound and every touch.

Feeling the high, the joy and the desire they looked around to make sure they were still alone, still drawn by the energy that bound them together. Safely resting in his arms, looking into his eyes, he whispered, “How does it feel to have traded your soul for a kiss?”

Letting Go - A Story

Source : Google.com

He walked past her again. It almost felt like he was walking through her. She cried out to him, begged him to stop, but this was going to be another day of the silent treatment.

He slammed the door and headed to work. She stood at the window, watching him back away down the driveway in his new truck. He refused to talk to her about the purchase; he just showed up one day several weeks ago, the dealer sticker still in the window.

He hadn't spoken to her in over a month.

She looked out at the neighbourhood. It had gotten to be fall without her even realizing that the weather had cooled. Leaves gathered in silent blankets, warming the earth.

She felt a chill, and went back to bed.

She'd been sleeping more, lately. It was unusual for her, but she'd somehow slipped into a deeper darkness than she'd ever experienced. She'd been depressed before, but this was different; black days didn't begin to describe it. She'd sleep, she'd awaken. He'd ignore her as they watched television, when she actually joined him downstairs.

Most nights, he'd fall asleep on the couch, a highball glass with remnants of an ice cube giving testimony to how he'd spent another one of his evenings. The empty Whiskey bottles were lined up in a windowsill.

The ghostly green was absurdly beautiful in the setting sun.

One night, seized with a frustration that words wouldn't cure, she grabbed one of those empties and flung it at the wall.

Finally, he looked in her direction, eyes bleary, a gasp on his lips and a trembling tumbler in his hand.

A Rorschach of whiskey stains colored the off white sheetrock. Little divots formed where the bottle struck and shattered; verdant shards rained to the hardwood. A glass garden bloomed on the kitchen floor.

She didn't speak, but wailed tears of sorrow, anger, and sadness.

She was angry at mourning the loss of them; she was angrier at his apparent lack of concern for their love slipping away.

He just looked at that Rorschach on the wall. A study of himself, painted in single malt.

She went back upstairs, crying herself to sleep.

Winter came, and nothing improved between them. He started missing work some days, and those bottles began to line the floor beneath the window.

She refused to clean up after him.

She sat down in the chair opposite the couch one day when he slept past his alarm. She reached out to turn off the television, but it smoked and smouldered under her fingertips, and it died on its own. She snatched her hand back, expecting a shock, but she felt nothing. Where it had been blasting on about some winter storm on the Weather Channel, now there was only silence and the smell of ozone.

She just sighed.

One more thing gone wrong.

She tried to wake him, but he wouldn't stir.

She couldn't remember the last time he'd slept in the bed with her. His only trips upstairs were to dress, and even those stopped when he moved everything he needed into the guestroom.

She was a heavy sleeper, and the depression she'd slunk into forced her to stay in bed most days.

"We need help." She said, hoping he'd engage her.

He just rolled over, curled away from her, shivered, and continued to sleep on the couch.

"I'm going to leave if we don't try to fix this."

Nothing. He reached for his blanket on the back of the couch, still sleeping.

She knew it was a lie. Despite all this darkness, she loved him still.

Time was a slippery thing to her in her depressions.

When the snow began to melt, the man from the bank came. She refused to open the door, but looked out the peephole at him. He left an orange flyer above the knocker.

She went back to sleep, and the tears took away the worry.

She awakened to the ear-splitting noise of reversing alarms on a truck.

A U-Haul sat in the front yard, but she was too tired, too sad, to care anymore.

She slept again.

When she awakened, everything in the house outside of her bedroom was gone. Echoes greeted her creaking steps down the stairs, and she cried out in fear, in shock, and in such incredible, aching remorse that she felt her heart shatter just as a windowpane above the kitchen sink did.

He'd left her bedroom, and moved out around her.

She collapsed in the living room in a heap, wails filling the air and blackness colouring her world.

She felt like she was being torn apart.

Sleep disappeared, and dreams were replaced with the sound of Latin being spoken downstairs.

Latin?

It echoed throughout the emptiness of the house below her. Inside, she ached.

Physical pain tore through her, and she screamed, despite trying to listen.

The Latin stopped, and the clinching in her gut relaxed.

She stumbled to the stairway, and looked down into the living room.

Strangers gathered, surrounding a priest.

He looked at her.

At her. He smiled.

It was the first real contact she'd had since...

And memory flooded her.

Images of she and her husband.

He was driving, she was holding his hand.

They were just going to the store; a beautifully mundane ritual.

He said something and she laughed.

And then it happened.

The priest spoke to her.

"Hello, Mukti."

She didn't reply.

"These are the Birlas. They own this house now. They asked me to bless it before they move your bedroom out, and they move their family in."

"Mine," she managed to croak, tears flowing.

She noticed the couple cringe, and the man, Mr.Birla presumed, shivered. They were young; they reminded of her of how she and her husband looked back when.

"GET OUT!" she managed to yell, voice cracking through tears.

The young woman began to cry.

The priest just continued to smile, and he took a step closer.

"Mukti. You need to go Home. You need to let go of this place."

The Latin resumed, and the last thing she heard:

"Go with God, Mukti."

"Amen."

And she let go.

The house disappeared from around her, and sadness was a distant whisper.

A tractor trailer blew through the red light.

It hit the passenger side of the car at somewhere around fifty miles an hour.

As the noise died away, so did she.

Love So True (Poetry)

After we will die, I will meet you again in the sky.

Hello my old friend,
Lets rewind our love so true.
The moments we shared in the past,

A never changing view.

Days go by months, turn into years,
I am living with constant sorrow and overwhelming fears.
Suffocation starts as the air gets heavy,
Crying and in constant sorrow screaming "I want my baby!"

But you're no where to be found,
Then your whatsapp shows online and my world slows down.
When we touch I have emotions and feelings unexpressed,
Making me happy making my obstacles in life rest.

These last few years have captivated my life,
Growing old with you and thinking about you as my wife.
I have now found my reason for living and a love come true,
Knowing that nothing in this world will ever rank above you.

I look to the night sky at the stars and moon,
Hoping you see the beauty I see and we will gaze together soon.
Wishing you were here to caress and to hold,
Hoping to make your every wish and dream unfold.

I am guaranteeing you total allegiance and fidelity,

Along with forever warm and embracing arms of security.
We make magic and passion of romance with ease,
I am saying it over and again baby please please please.


Give me a life of happiness and loyalty,
Grow old and make a family with me.
Giving them the tools to happiness like ours,
While keeping our love so it never sours.


I'm never going to pick up the pieces again,
I'll be lost and won't know where to begin.
Don't ever leave me girl,
I need you in this world.


I get your name inked on my hand and it ain't a sin,
Thinking of you, I get anxious and my head starts to spin.
Waiting to talk to you on the other line,
Hearing your voice and hoping to find.


That you're peaceful and supportive,
And later on in life my goal is for you to be rewarded.
I will be yours for all eternity,
I'll be your powerful Prince of Divinity.


I wanna take time out to tell you.
I appreciate you loving me the way that you do.
Baby I wanted to say thank you,
For A Everlasting Love Come True.






This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.



Don't take it for granted.

Just something on my mind today, when you are in a relationship. Never lose sight of the things your partner does for you.

If you have been together 20 years and he has gotten you coffee every morning don't take that for granted as just something he does. There is effort that goes into that.

If she kisses you every night when she gets into bed, even if you are asleep there is thought behind such an action.

If your partner picks you up little special snacks at the store it means you are in their thoughts.

The moment you start chalking these little things up as normal behavior you start taking them for granted and they become meaningless.

And believing these things to be meaningless normal behavior can only hurt your partner, yourself, and your relationship.

Be mindful that there is meaning and effort involved in those actions.

She's just not into you!

Source : Google.com

 

Bad Girls are actually bad.

All these years I'd been complaining about girls and their mixed messages; now I saw they weren't mixed messages at all. I was the one that was mixed up.

You deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all the time.

Don't be flattered that she misses you. She should miss you. You're deeply missable. However, she's still the same person who just broke up with you. Remember, the only reason she can miss you is because she's choosing, every day, not to be with you.

Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your face(there are some who dont even do this), took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that she was no longer in need of your company.

She's not really saying she doesn't want to get married. She's saying she doesn't want to get married to you. She's just not that into you if she doesn't want to marry you. Love cures commitment phobia.

The word 'busy' in the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact, in every silo you uncover, all you're going to find is a girl who didn't care enough to call. Remember: None are never too busy to get what they want.

We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side, to be optimistic. Not in this case. In this case, look on the dark side. Assume rejection first. Assume you're the rule, not the exception.

If a girl doesn't call you, she doesn't want to call you, a hard pill to swallow, i know.

How stupid is it that a one has to wait for a call anyway, right?

She's got the ultimate situation: a great friend with all the benefis of a boyfriend, whom she can see or not see whenever she wants to.

Breaks. Hard, clean breaks, No talking, no seeing, no touching. . . . Keep your hands to yourself. The relationship is over.

Yes, breakups are painful, even from someone you may have only dated a few days. You may have been really excited about her and had a lot of hopes for the future. But how empowering to have the mental clarity to say, 'She just wasn't that into me.'

There's nothing worse than having no answer, in business, friendships, and especially romantic relationships. But the bad news is, no answer is your answer. She may not have written you a goodbye note, but her silence is a deafening 'see you later.

She's gone. Poof Vanished into thin air. Well, there's no mixed message here. She's made it clear that she's so not into you that she couldn't even bother to leave you a text message.

You have every right to know what is going on between you and someone you're knocking socks with. And the more confident you are that you deserve that (and much more), the more you'll be able to ask your big questions in a way that won't feel heavy and dramatic, I guarantee you.

If the girl you're dating doesn't seem to be completely into you, or you feel the need to start 'figuring her out,' please consider the glorious thought that she might just not be that into you. And then free yourself to go find someone that is.

I don't want to be 'sort of dating' someone. I don't want to be 'kinda hanging out' with someone. I don't want to spend a lot of energy suppressing all my feelings so I appear uninvolved. I want to be involved. I want to have future with someone I know I'll see again because they've already demonstrated to me that they're trustworthy and honorable--and into me.

*Change the gender and it applies to your life as well. 

Are You The Right Partner?

Source :Google.com

I have seen a question floating around lately that got me to thinking. The conclusion of it which was "Are you with the right partner". I thought it was a very interesting question, though in my personal opinion; not the right one.

I feel the question that people really need to ask themselves is not are you with the right partner, but are you the right partner? People often find themselves in a relationship with someone they feel doesn't entirely respect them or that abuses their trust or boundaries. They often end up in relationships where they are left feeling under appreciated, unwanted and insecure.


The truth is though folks, love and passion are not enough. You need to ask yourself, am I being the right partner for the sort of relationship I wish to have.


Do you want your partner to be more considerate of your wants and needs? Then you must make sure that those wants and needs are being expressed by YOU. If you are expressing your wants and needs and they are not being met, then you need to accept that this person may simply not be capable of fulfilling what it is that you need.


In order to be the right partner, you must first acknowledge your wants, your needs in a relationship. Your wants are the things you would like to have in a relationship, but that you can do without. Your needs are the must haves that you require in a relationship in order for it to be maintained. You must decide what these are and then ensure that even if your relationship does not necessarily meet all of your wants, that it meets all of your needs.


Then you must address what it is that your partner wants and needs from a relationship. What are there wants and how many of them are you capable of providing for? More importantly though, are you capable of providing for all of their needs? If you cannot provide for all of there wants, that is okay. Your relationship can survive that. If you cannot provide for all of their needs though, it is time to accept that this is a relationship that is never going to be able to work.


If you cannot provide for your partners needs or vice versa, then there will always be a feeling of being unfulfilled by one party or both. There will always be a feeling of not being "good enough" by the party who cannot provide for the other's need. When a situation like this arises, you must take a step back and ask yourself a very important question. Am I the right partner?


Are you the right partner for this specific person? If not, it doesn't mean that there is not love between you. It does not mean that your concern, compassion and care for one another is not genuine. It simply means that there is a need that the other person has, that you cannot meet. This is not a failure on anyone's part. It is a simply a difference in needs that cannot be ignored.


So before you ask yourself "Am I with the right partner" ask yourself Am I the right partner for this person? If your answer is no, you know what to do.

 

If You're Lucky Enough & Found Your Love Of Life, Hold Onto Her!

Source : Google.com

“If you’re ever lucky enough to find a girl who is a hopeless romantic with a naughty mind, you should hold onto her. Because she’ll be yours at two in the morning and at two in the afternoon the following day. She’ll kiss you where it hurts and until it hurts. And that’s important. Someone who not only knows how to turn you on but also knows how to treat you right is someone worth a little something… and a little more than usual.”

When I first saw this it said author unknown- The author is "Sionnach Bandia."

Beautifully stated Sionnach, and oh, so, true!

After reading the quote, I ponder upon it deeply, and thought to pen the way I see it. Thank you if you are reading my musing/thoughts & sharing your love with me.

For that's the girl you can share your good news with and she will rejoice with you. While being with the girl you can call at 3 in the morning if you just need to talk or a shoulder to lean on. When you have a bad day she will be there to hug you, sit with you and truly listen to what you need to get off your chest.

If your heart is breaking she is your safe harbour , she will stroke your brow, cradle you in her arms, kiss away your tears and wrap you in her love. She will work hard to fill your life with love, joy laughter and little surprises. She will be there when you need her.

She will give you her heart and trust you not to bruise it, however, even if you do bruise it she will forgive you and give you several chances before she gives up on you for she knows love is a gift and hates giving up on people. (I know this because it happened to me, true lover never give up on you, no matter what)

She will spend hours/days trying to find that perfect birthday gift for you. She will want to please you and will do everything in her power to make you happy and make life easier for you. She will even try to learn a few new things to spice up your life, if she thinks that will bring you joy. 





Spoil Your Partner

Source : Google.com

 

Spoil your partner (Sarcasm here). Do the little things that will make their day brighter. Think of the things that won't take much energy but will bring them a lot of joy. Then do them whenever you can.(No Sarcasm here)

Pick up milk on the way home. Set a glass of water on the nightstand. Send a text message just to say hello. Have a plan for dinner. Send flowers to work. Wake up them with a kiss if you are maaried or Wake up them with Good Morning text if you are dating. Write a note inside the card instead of just signing it. Pick up a new book from a favorite author. Buy a new snack you think they'll like. Leave 'I love you' in an unexpected place.

You have chosen a partner, someone with whom to share your present, to hold your hand as you go through life. A fully-formed, grownup person is standing next to you. Don't worry that you might ruin them if you're too nice. If they act like a jackass when you're extra nice, then they're just a jackass. Don't choose a jackass for a partner.

The one thing I always notice in conversations with happy, old couples who've been together for considerably longer than I've been alive is that each person always thinks their partner is the one who does more and gives more. Why is that? Because both people are doing their best to make the other feel spoiled, to fill the other's day with sunshine, to express love with action. It's a reinforcing cycle, a feedback loop.

Do the little things that show you care. That's your companion through life; help make them well- equipped and cheerful for the journey.

Those little expressions of love build and help to maintain a strong and deep relationship that can, given time, last not only any challenge, but a lifetime.

Special Reference to a Man (who follow me on Twitter and is from New York, USA) quoted me "I read this as I'm about to make a trip across town (15miles) to drop off my wife's lunch which she forgot this am;She hasn't asked, I choose to and that is why we have been together 20 yrs." That is quite special expression of love and I thought to share with you all.

'Action speaks louder than words', we all read it in our KG. Expressing love to special people of our lives gives immense pleasure that could be felt in doing anything. It's a two-way street. Everyone wants to know they are special to their partner.

"That’s how kindness works too: there’s a great deal of evidence showing the more someone receives or witnesses kindness, the more they will be kind themselves, which leads to upward spirals of love and generosity in a relationship."

This is my goal every day. To make her the happiest Girl I know!