Monday, August 10, 2015

When you love someone.



When you love someone, you care about their well being, success, happiness, health and growth. You want them to be well and you'd be willing to help them if they needed it.

When you love someone, you respect them and cherish who they truly are. You accept their flaws and understand that while they may not be perfect, it's their imperfections that colors their personality with the humanity you adore.

When you love someone, they take up a place in your soul permanently. They are never far from your thoughts and often times you'll smile at nothing more than a special memory and a warm feeling.

When you love someone. You know it. You accept it and use that love in its proper context. Love will display itself in many different ways and has a different texture and application depending on the relationship with who you love. But love is also universal and true, it's a lot of things to a lot of people.

When you love someone. You care, truly and deeply. You don't just hand out platitudes, you hand them your heart and would do anything to help them if you could and they needed it.

When you love someone, you do all of that and feel that way regardless if you're in a relationship with them or not. Even if you haven't spoken in ages, they still have a special place in your heart. Love never grows old and love never dies, it's just sometimes we bury it under things like jealously and resentment that we no longer have access to it.

Forever. Together. Almost.



Her - I really miss you 

Me - I miss you too! 

Her - Being apart is difficult. 

Me - Yes it is. Makes me appreciate our time together. 

Her - Me too! That's so sweet! 

Me - Makes me wanna be with you all the time. ALL THE TIME! 

Her - Me too! All the time! 

Me - Yep. All the time. 23/6. 

Her - 23/6?? That's not all the time! 

Me - Well, it's really close. 

Her - Close?? What about the other 24 hours?!?! 

Me - Well, nothing wrong with a little down time. 

Her - Down time!?!? WTF?? Downtime???? 

Me - Not to get away from you! Just cause MISSING you is such a treat. Reunion Sex! 

Her - Reunion Sex? Hmmmm.....ok. Good save. 

Me - (Whew!!) Thanks! Did I mention I miss you???

It's important you are speaking the right relationship language.




Love is not one size fits all and it's not always spoken in the same language between couples. I'm not talking about saying it in English, Hindi, French or Spanish, but I'm talking about how it's communicated through actions, words and interactions most of all.

Some might express love with flowers, while someone else might convey the same thing with spanking their significant other. Some might be gentle with the one they love while someone else might be harsh and rough with them. Some might want romantic dinners by candle light, some might just want kinky nights. Others might want it all.

Beyond feelings is the ability to express and live out those feelings. There are an infinite number of ways to tell someone you love them. Saying it is only one way and often the cheapest and easiest, but not always the best or most appropriate way to say it.

As the saying goes, actions speak louder than words and love is a verb. Well, those actions joined together are their own language.

You can say I love you in many different ways, it's not just feeling something for someone, but understanding what language they speak and knowing how to speak it. Because each relationship has its own language and when you start speaking a different one, than the one you both created, then you're not going to understand each other and no one enjoys having to overcome a language barrier.

P.S. If you're a book worm or looking for a book to read, I recommend - The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Go for it.

Girls, Unlocked.

From a distance, they like to chat, have interesting conversations and aren't the sum total of what's on their mind.

Up close and in person, they like to chat, have interesting conversations and aren't the sum total of what's on their mind. 

And sometimes, when you chat, have interesting conversations and realize that she isn't the sum total of what's on her mind, 

She might love you like there is no tomorrow.


Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Keep Calm. It's Just a Movie. And You Should Watch It.

Source : Google.com

Hello everyone.

Go see the "Fifty Shades of Grey" movie.

Yes, it's a crap book, and we know the film won't portray BDSM in a realistic light (but it may do) Everyone I know has a different take on what is "the right way" to do fetish, and this film is just another version.

But Support the film.

"WTF?" you asked.

This that moment where you say, "But man, the story is crap, the grammar is crap, the metaphors are crap, the author's English would not have passed high school testing, it's a terrible representation of BDSM community, why in God's name are you advocating the movie?"

Here's why :

While I agree with every detractor regarding the books and the abusive nature of the story, the TRUTH IS - love it or hate it - that this book and this story have brought a MUCH WIDER ACCEPTANCE of BDSM IN GENERAL.

Over 100 Million copies of the books have been SOLD, and that number does not even include illegal downloads of the book, people lending the book, and the Waiting Lists at local libraries of people who want to read the book.

To give you some perspective, if we consider only people over the age of 18, that means about ONE IN EVERY 40 LITERATE ADULTS ON EARTH HAS OBTAINED THIS BOOK.
(Find my mathematical expression at the end of the blog.)

What this means is that, that "secret subject", that "taboo topic" of BDSM and D/s relationship is now FIRMLY OUT OF THE CLOSET ON A GLOBAL SCALE.

Does this mean that all these newcomers are getting a Good, Positive Idea of what BDSM is About?

Hell No.

50 Shades of Grey – the book and what we’ve seen so far of the film – is an inaccurate depiction of a BDSM relationship.

I don't know if you know that the BDSM community is entirely centred around the concept of consent. Consent is the very cornerstone of BDSM play. Those in the real-life BDSM community never indulge in kinky play without the consent of another. There can be no coercion or begging involved; it must be a consensual exchange of sexual and physical energy.

Throughout any BDSM scene, from the very beginning to the very end, consent must be positively and consistently given – and yet, many of the scenes in 50 Shades appear to happen without the consent of Anastasia, the submissive. Without consent, there can be no BDSM play.

Without consent, it is abuse.

It seems that even the author, E.L. James, misunderstands what a real BDSM community is like. Her “hunk”, Christian Grey, is a character that engages in sado-masochistic behaviour because he suffered through an abusive childhood, and at the end of the book, he is “cured” of his deviances and goes on to marry his partner, have children and live a vanilla life.

This is painfully wrong in two major ways. First, the implication that S&M is an outlet for a person’s inner demons because they are “damaged” degrades the many, many people who enjoy kink in a sane, safe way. Second, the implication that a victim of domestic abuse can eventually change the behaviour of his or her abuser is an incredibly troubling message to send out. Love, unfortunately, does not save all.

The very fact that you’re reading this blog also helps to maintain a healthy conversation around sexuality and the concepts of both Risk Aware Consensual Kink and “safe, sane and consensual”, two standards to which most in the BDSM community adhere. If you do nothing else today, look up those terms and learn a little more about what BDSM really is.

AT LEAST people are now OPEN TO TALKING ABOUT IT.

Supporting this movie means that, if box office ticket sales are good, then Hollywood will "Green Light" the next two books being made into films as well. That means about THREE YEARS during which This Will Be an Open Topic to Discuss.

This is - In Fact - an AMAZING opportunity to Educate the masses in WHY we/you find BDSM and D/s so profoundly Beautiful.

Do not curse the "Darkness of Nonsense" that 50 Shades vomits forth.

Rather, light a single torch - your knowledge of the Real World of Safe, Sane & Consensual BDSM and D/s - and bring your light into the darkness.

For the maths freak out there:

Average maximum age = 72 (globally)
Subtract 18 and under = 25%.
Seven Billion People on Earth x .75 = 5,250,000,000.
According to UNESCO there are approximately 1 Billion Non-Literate adults in the world = 4,250,000,000 Adult Readers.
Divide that by 100 Million Book Sales = 42.5.
And that does not include illegal downloads - the book started as an ebook and a search for "Fifty Shades Free Download" yields 9,850,000 pages on Google.
Add borrowing and sharing the book as well as libraries etc, and 1 out of every 42.5 is actually figuring too high.
So if we add in 5 Million non- purchased views conservatively, it's actually more like 1 out of every 40 people have read/obtained this book.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Your Soul For A Kiss!



Source : Google.com

Staring intently into her eyes feeling the power of the draw of that first kiss, he slowly break away and move closer to her ear with his lips. “I am going to take your soul”, he whispered. Feeling his breath on her neck as a tingle ran down her spine, she replied “How can you do that?” His response was, “Simply with a kiss.” She stood there looking at him in total disbelief knowing it was true and wanting it to happen. But in an act of bold defiance she said, “You cannot do that, that is impossible” and laughed.

"Once we kiss I will draw you in and you will have no choice to but to accept."

"But how do you even know where my soul lives?"

"Oh, I know where it lives, I have been there before, it lives in the delicate space behind your heart and my kiss will call its name."

With that simple but truthful statement a gust of wind came out of the sky and encircled them in its arms. Together they stood there catching their breath; she staggered a little and fell into his chest. He grabbed her and pulled her close when she whispered in his ear, “Take what you want, as it’s already been yours for years.”

With that said they started to kiss. Painfully slow the pull of attraction being drawn together without turning back but she teased him and pulled away with a smile and a little laugh. Then he placed one hand gently on her face the other in her hair, their lips drew together like magnets and hearts pounding together as one. Their slightly parted lips touching and opening to feel the full wetness of mouths as weakness and desire came over them, she could feel him growing against her hip. But they agreed nothing more would happen, other than this kiss.

Lips locked together perfectly, tongues moving in unison, exploring and finding bliss. A wave of dizziness came over her and she let out a tiny moan which made him kiss her even harder. Breaking away she took her tongue and traced his lips imparting a gentle kiss and playfully biting his lower lip. Returning to fully embracing his mouth they kissed for hours that day, loving every sound and every touch.

Feeling the high, the joy and the desire they looked around to make sure they were still alone, still drawn by the energy that bound them together. Safely resting in his arms, looking into his eyes, he whispered, “How does it feel to have traded your soul for a kiss?”

Monday, September 8, 2014

Letting Go - A Story


Source : Google.com

He walked past her again. It almost felt like he was walking through her. She cried out to him, begged him to stop, but this was going to be another day of the silent treatment.

He slammed the door and headed to work. She stood at the window, watching him back away down the driveway in his new truck. He refused to talk to her about the purchase; he just showed up one day several weeks ago, the dealer sticker still in the window.

He hadn't spoken to her in over a month.

She looked out at the neighbourhood. It had gotten to be fall without her even realizing that the weather had cooled. Leaves gathered in silent blankets, warming the earth.

She felt a chill, and went back to bed.

She'd been sleeping more, lately. It was unusual for her, but she'd somehow slipped into a deeper darkness than she'd ever experienced. She'd been depressed before, but this was different; black days didn't begin to describe it. She'd sleep, she'd awaken. He'd ignore her as they watched television, when she actually joined him downstairs.

Most nights, he'd fall asleep on the couch, a highball glass with remnants of an ice cube giving testimony to how he'd spent another one of his evenings. The empty Whiskey bottles were lined up in a windowsill.

The ghostly green was absurdly beautiful in the setting sun.

One night, seized with a frustration that words wouldn't cure, she grabbed one of those empties and flung it at the wall.

Finally, he looked in her direction, eyes bleary, a gasp on his lips and a trembling tumbler in his hand.

A Rorschach of whiskey stains colored the off white sheetrock. Little divots formed where the bottle struck and shattered; verdant shards rained to the hardwood. A glass garden bloomed on the kitchen floor.

She didn't speak, but wailed tears of sorrow, anger, and sadness.

She was angry at mourning the loss of them; she was angrier at his apparent lack of concern for their love slipping away.

He just looked at that Rorschach on the wall. A study of himself, painted in single malt.

She went back upstairs, crying herself to sleep.

Winter came, and nothing improved between them. He started missing work some days, and those bottles began to line the floor beneath the window.

She refused to clean up after him.

She sat down in the chair opposite the couch one day when he slept past his alarm. She reached out to turn off the television, but it smoked and smouldered under her fingertips, and it died on its own. She snatched her hand back, expecting a shock, but she felt nothing. Where it had been blasting on about some winter storm on the Weather Channel, now there was only silence and the smell of ozone.

She just sighed.

One more thing gone wrong.

She tried to wake him, but he wouldn't stir.

She couldn't remember the last time he'd slept in the bed with her. His only trips upstairs were to dress, and even those stopped when he moved everything he needed into the guestroom.

She was a heavy sleeper, and the depression she'd slunk into forced her to stay in bed most days.

"We need help." She said, hoping he'd engage her.

He just rolled over, curled away from her, shivered, and continued to sleep on the couch.

"I'm going to leave if we don't try to fix this."

Nothing. He reached for his blanket on the back of the couch, still sleeping.

She knew it was a lie. Despite all this darkness, she loved him still.

Time was a slippery thing to her in her depressions.

When the snow began to melt, the man from the bank came. She refused to open the door, but looked out the peephole at him. He left an orange flyer above the knocker.

She went back to sleep, and the tears took away the worry.

She awakened to the ear-splitting noise of reversing alarms on a truck.

A U-Haul sat in the front yard, but she was too tired, too sad, to care anymore.

She slept again.

When she awakened, everything in the house outside of her bedroom was gone. Echoes greeted her creaking steps down the stairs, and she cried out in fear, in shock, and in such incredible, aching remorse that she felt her heart shatter just as a windowpane above the kitchen sink did.

He'd left her bedroom, and moved out around her.

She collapsed in the living room in a heap, wails filling the air and blackness colouring her world.

She felt like she was being torn apart.

Sleep disappeared, and dreams were replaced with the sound of Latin being spoken downstairs.

Latin?

It echoed throughout the emptiness of the house below her. Inside, she ached.

Physical pain tore through her, and she screamed, despite trying to listen.

The Latin stopped, and the clinching in her gut relaxed.

She stumbled to the stairway, and looked down into the living room.

Strangers gathered, surrounding a priest.

He looked at her.

At her. He smiled.

It was the first real contact she'd had since...

And memory flooded her.

Images of she and her husband.

He was driving, she was holding his hand.

They were just going to the store; a beautifully mundane ritual.

He said something and she laughed.

And then it happened.

The priest spoke to her.

"Hello, Mukti."

She didn't reply.

"These are the Birlas. They own this house now. They asked me to bless it before they move your bedroom out, and they move their family in."

"Mine," she managed to croak, tears flowing.

She noticed the couple cringe, and the man, Mr.Birla presumed, shivered. They were young; they reminded of her of how she and her husband looked back when.

"GET OUT!" she managed to yell, voice cracking through tears.

The young woman began to cry.

The priest just continued to smile, and he took a step closer.

"Mukti. You need to go Home. You need to let go of this place."

The Latin resumed, and the last thing she heard:

"Go with God, Mukti."

"Amen."

And she let go.

The house disappeared from around her, and sadness was a distant whisper.

A tractor trailer blew through the red light.

It hit the passenger side of the car at somewhere around fifty miles an hour.

As the noise died away, so did she.