Mirror.

In that mirror, she saw her blemishes and imperfections. She saw the woman who use to get berated by him and was called ugly and made to feel unloved. The one who use to cry herself to sleep, but now doesn't even bother closing her eyes, because she can't risk seeing those moments play out again. In this mirror, she sees her strength and amazing attributes. She sees a woman who gets told constantly how wonderful and beautiful she truly is and shown through actions, what it feels like to be cared for. A woman who now smiles before she sleeps and dreams of being held again and kissed gently on the forehead. The one who can't wait to play out these moments again. While there is only one of us, there are many reflections we can see. Depending on the mirror, some might be fairly accurate and some might be extremely distorted. But no mirror will ever capture the full picture of who you are. Don't be beholden to an image from a broken mirror, look for a new one who sees you for what you are and won't try to taint your image, but simply celebrate it instead.

Keep Calm. It's Just a Movie. And You Should Watch It.

Source : Google.com

Hello everyone.

Go see the "Fifty Shades of Grey" movie.

Yes, it's a crap book, and we know the film won't portray BDSM in a realistic light (but it may do) Everyone I know has a different take on what is "the right way" to do fetish, and this film is just another version.

But Support the film.

"WTF?" you asked.

This that moment where you say, "But man, the story is crap, the grammar is crap, the metaphors are crap, the author's English would not have passed high school testing, it's a terrible representation of BDSM community, why in God's name are you advocating the movie?"

Here's why :

While I agree with every detractor regarding the books and the abusive nature of the story, the TRUTH IS - love it or hate it - that this book and this story have brought a MUCH WIDER ACCEPTANCE of BDSM IN GENERAL.

Over 100 Million copies of the books have been SOLD, and that number does not even include illegal downloads of the book, people lending the book, and the Waiting Lists at local libraries of people who want to read the book.

To give you some perspective, if we consider only people over the age of 18, that means about ONE IN EVERY 40 LITERATE ADULTS ON EARTH HAS OBTAINED THIS BOOK.
(Find my mathematical expression at the end of the blog.)

What this means is that, that "secret subject", that "taboo topic" of BDSM and D/s relationship is now FIRMLY OUT OF THE CLOSET ON A GLOBAL SCALE.

Does this mean that all these newcomers are getting a Good, Positive Idea of what BDSM is About?

Hell No.

50 Shades of Grey – the book and what we’ve seen so far of the film – is an inaccurate depiction of a BDSM relationship.

I don't know if you know that the BDSM community is entirely centred around the concept of consent. Consent is the very cornerstone of BDSM play. Those in the real-life BDSM community never indulge in kinky play without the consent of another. There can be no coercion or begging involved; it must be a consensual exchange of sexual and physical energy.

Throughout any BDSM scene, from the very beginning to the very end, consent must be positively and consistently given – and yet, many of the scenes in 50 Shades appear to happen without the consent of Anastasia, the submissive. Without consent, there can be no BDSM play.

Without consent, it is abuse.

It seems that even the author, E.L. James, misunderstands what a real BDSM community is like. Her “hunk”, Christian Grey, is a character that engages in sado-masochistic behaviour because he suffered through an abusive childhood, and at the end of the book, he is “cured” of his deviances and goes on to marry his partner, have children and live a vanilla life.

This is painfully wrong in two major ways. First, the implication that S&M is an outlet for a person’s inner demons because they are “damaged” degrades the many, many people who enjoy kink in a sane, safe way. Second, the implication that a victim of domestic abuse can eventually change the behaviour of his or her abuser is an incredibly troubling message to send out. Love, unfortunately, does not save all.

The very fact that you’re reading this blog also helps to maintain a healthy conversation around sexuality and the concepts of both Risk Aware Consensual Kink and “safe, sane and consensual”, two standards to which most in the BDSM community adhere. If you do nothing else today, look up those terms and learn a little more about what BDSM really is.

AT LEAST people are now OPEN TO TALKING ABOUT IT.

Supporting this movie means that, if box office ticket sales are good, then Hollywood will "Green Light" the next two books being made into films as well. That means about THREE YEARS during which This Will Be an Open Topic to Discuss.

This is - In Fact - an AMAZING opportunity to Educate the masses in WHY we/you find BDSM and D/s so profoundly Beautiful.

Do not curse the "Darkness of Nonsense" that 50 Shades vomits forth.

Rather, light a single torch - your knowledge of the Real World of Safe, Sane & Consensual BDSM and D/s - and bring your light into the darkness.

For the maths freak out there:

Average maximum age = 72 (globally)

Subtract 18 and under = 25%.
Seven Billion People on Earth x .75 = 5,250,000,000.
According to UNESCO there are approximately 1 Billion Non-Literate adults in the world = 4,250,000,000 Adult Readers.
Divide that by 100 Million Book Sales = 42.5.
And that does not include illegal downloads - the book started as an ebook and a search for "Fifty Shades Free Download" yields 9,850,000 pages on Google.
Add borrowing and sharing the book as well as libraries etc, and 1 out of every 42.5 is actually figuring too high.
So if we add in 5 Million non- purchased views conservatively, it's actually more like 1 out of every 40 people have read/obtained this book.

For When You Think Nobody Will Love You - Real Time Story of A Girl

 

Credit : Google.com

This story resonated with real life. This is something I seen someone went through. Loving yourself is a process, you will have good days and you will have bad days, days where you are proud of who you are and days when you are less than your best. And those people who seem to have everything together fall apart once in a while. We are all doing the best we can and that's all anyone can ask for.

When we want to entrap others in our web of love, we trap ourselves. Our own desire begins to be more important than our partners' desires, and we develop desperate attachments. And when such attachment is broken, it hurts and the process of healing isn't that easy that it is written in the books.

 

You can never quite remember the actual moments when someone says that they love you for the first time. You wait for it so long, practice how you will respond, prevent yourself from saying it before them (you wouldn’t want to look desperate), and then it happens, and it’s like you go temporarily deaf. There is a ringing, like a TV show that has cut off to go to an emergency announcement. This is an emergency announcement. And you can’t even hear it. It’s almost like your brain doesn’t want to process these words, because then you’d have to acknowledge them, and not just in your imagination.

Besides, everyone who has ever said that to you before has left, so you might as well not even listen.“I love you” will mean nights staying up while you text each other all the night, wondering why they haven’t left you already, wondering when they will.  It means having to take the risk that, as has happened so many times before, you will be disappointed. You will be proven wrong. You will live the reality of that fear you always have, the fear where they wake up one day and look in the mirror and say “What was I doing here? I could do so, so much better than this." And in some cases, it also means having to be naked with them with the lights all the way up, stinging every dimpled plane of your body with unforgiving clarity.

 

Credit : Google.com

 

So you have chosen aloneness. You have chosen the security and the relative freedom of solitude, because there is no risk involved. You can stay up every night and watch your TV shows and eat ice cream out of the box and scroll through your Facebook and never let your brain sit still, not even for a moment. You can fill your days up with books and coffees and trips to the store where you forget what you wanted the second you walk in the automatic sliding door. You can do so many little, pointless things throughout the day that all you can think of is how badly you want to sleep, how heavy your whole body is, how much your feet hurt. You can wear yourself out again and again on the pavement, and you do, and it feels good.

Sometimes, you think that no one has ever loved you. You have almost flippantly doubted it, even when someone was saying it to you. Even if they are saying it to you today. Because, though you wouldn’t like to admit it, you’re not terribly sure that you love yourself. You reject all of the simpering notions in beauty magazines and you learn to say nice things about yourself when you look in the mirror. If someone asked, you could provide an objective list of your qualities. But you’re not sure that “loving yourself” is something you ever really learned how to do. Sometimes, you wonder if everyone is faking it, even the people who seem to have it all down to a science.

Because you’ve never looked at yourself and felt blown away by the privilege of being in your own body, of having your own mind, of living your own life. You’ve never felt that thrilling infatuation, that deep connection. Not about yourself. And maybe someone else did, but every time they told you that they loved you, it was as though the words had gone through several translating programs before they came back to your ears. You kind of knew what they were trying to say, but it was an expression whose meaning you didn’t really recognize. They said, “I love you,” and you said “You too.”

 

Credit : Google.com

 

You think that no one ever will, because how could they? No one will ever bridge that gap and point to your stomach or your hair or your eyes in the mirror and magically make you see the wonderful things about getting to be next to you. And maybe that’s it, after all, this fear that no one will ever truly feel about you the way you want to be felt about. Maybe what you want is someone to make you love yourself, to put sense into all that positive rhetoric, to make it so the aloneness of TV and blasting music in your ears at all times isn’t the most happy place you can think of. Maybe you want someone who makes you so sure of how wonderful things are that you cannot help but to tell them your feelings first.

Because you will know that, when you’re telling them you love them, what you’re really saying is “I love who I become when I am with you.”

One in Seven Billion

 

Source : Google.com

That's all I am. One lone soul out of nearly seven billion currently inhabiting this crazy planet. Whenever I think, speak or write, it is the thought, voice, and opinion of one person, out of seven billion.

In the infinite number of possible lives that could be lived, to form a perception of life and the human condition; to influence a moral code, values, ethics, and an understanding of right from wrong, Mine is but one.

And the great thing is; that if I write about an element of it, then out of seven billion people, it isn't unreasonable to think that anywhere between 50 to 3,000 people might find their way to this site, and relate with whatever I've written, enough to click a little button that says 'like' or leave an encouraging comment.

Now as encouraging as it might be that there are other people who connect to something I've written. It doesn't intrinsically make my opinion any more or less valuable or valid than anyone else's. And although some may agree, it is almost guaranteed that for every one person that relates to my thoughts, those same thoughts will seem foreign and possibly confronting to a hundred more.

Human are such diverse and abstract creatures, it's inevitable that ideas that will seem to make one person feel validated to their very core, will seem offensive and threatening to the very existence of the world view that others have created for themselves.

The first important thing to remember is, that we as humans have always made the mistake of thinking that people agreeing with us means we are right. So no matter how much we claim to like robust discourse, we tend to surround ourselves with people who agree with us and hold the same opinions and values as us.

But while we are living in our world thinking that the popularity of opinions has any bearing on reality; try and remember Galileo Galilei who spent the last 8 years of his life under house arrest for proposing that the sun did not revolve around the earth, and it was in fact the other way round.

The second and last important thing we need remembers is, that no matter how unique, profound, or important we think our opinions and values are; we are just one voice out of seven billion.  

Be the change, Stop Complaining About the Community

Source : Google.com

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

Eh, so much drama and complaining about people and the community. Look you choose the people you surround yourself with. You choose the part of community that you want to be a part of. If you don't like it, CHANGE IT. Sitting on your asses and complaining doesn't do anyone any good. Getting OFF your asses and doing a little hard work will prove much more productive and your life much happier. It isn't easy. It WILL cost you in many forms.

If you are happy wallowing in your negative life and bitching up a storm then do it in a mirror and not to everyone else. We don't need you feeding that crap into the positive and good that so many have worked hard to create for themselves and others.

COMMUNITY, we have it for SUPPORT. We have it for SAFETY. We have it because those who love the lifestyle worked their asses off to BE THE CHANGE. Is it perfect NO, will it ever be, NO. But if you truly want to be a part of something incredible it is out there to be found!!!! LOOK past the weak and shallow, find the people & groups who are true to the lifestyle that want to see you grow and become another grand part of all the good things happening.

BE THE CHANGE THAT YOU WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD.