You get what you work for, not what you wish for - Santa

There are a million-and-one things on my wish list.

Flipkart knows it. 

Amazon knows it. 

Myntra knows it. 

Snapdeal knows it.

And some are things which can't be purchased but are on wishlist.

It's like a Best Buy exploded on a piece of paper. I've spent a considerable amount of my life wishing for things that I didn't have. It includes any number of things that strike my fancy. There have been things I've wanted, things that I've needed, things that I didn't know I needed until after I'd had a small taste and things I thought I needed but really didn't.

I welcome peace, trust, acceptance, and safety into my life. Thanks Santa.

Now, don't get me wrong, I've lived a blessed life. I can't tell you that I've always had the things I've wanted but I have never had to go without food on my table or heat in my home. But I've never had those things handed to me. I've always had to work for them. Hang with me for a second before you write this off as some poorly-crafted Republican informercial. The one thing I've realized is that being content pretty much amplifies who you already are.

The reality is that you get what you work for, not simply what you wish for.

As helpful as it would be- there isn't some whimsical elf like figure taking up residence in your home and reporting back to Santa what you want your relationship dynamic to look like. It seems like lately I'm continuing to stumble upon a number of people who are simple casting their cares on a wishing well and hoping things will change without any effort.

If you aren't willing to commit to rolling up your sleeves and getting your hands dirty- you're more- than-likely going to be sorely disappointed at the output of your dynamic. As much as the Fetlandia trolls would like for you to believe, relationships don't happen at the snap of the fingers. You don't demand for her to love and take care of you without navigating through her mind. It takes work. What makes you think she's going to trust you with her body when you can't take a minute to check on her throughout the day?

You want to show you care for her? 

Take time to run your fingers through her hair.

You want her to do your desires? 

Take time to prove you won't ruin her.

You want her to serve you? 

Take time to serve her first.

You want her to trust you explicitly without question? 

Take time to prove that you'll be there when things get rough.

You want to give you her soul? 

Take time to fucking work for it.

It takes less than five seconds to send a thinking about you text in the morning. You aren't less of a man for bringing her a cup of coffee when she wakes up in the morning (and if you think you are, let me know how she takes her coffee, and I'll bring it to her in my bed). Hold her hand and let her know she's safe. When she's had a bad day, listen to her vent before offering up solutions. If you promise that you're always going to be there, don't flake when she needs you.

Relationships of all kinds take an indescribable amount of work. But  in between, it requires a significant amount of additional effort to build trust. If you aren't willing to put forth the effort necessary to establish such an accord, you're only going to wind-up hurting them in the end. Quit wishing for a better dynamic. Put in the work and reap the rewards.

Abuse is not glamorous or cool.  It is never OK, under any circumstances. She wants to feel safe, respected and cared for by a man she can trust.

There are no shades of grey here. Not even one.

Let Your Heart Do The Thinking.

We are accustomed to chase after things we want. To question everything. We nurture our soul with fears that do nothing but feed the pessimism over and over again. We've taken evil by the arm and walk around with it as if best friends. I wonder when we transformed ourselves in robots that are led by too much rational and too little heart.

Unfortunately, love has become a taboo subject. We find love at every corner. We love shoes, they love cars. We think we love everything, when in fact, we love nothing. We are willing to give up in one night all we have accumulated in a lifetime, all for love. To give up principles that define us, to tie our arms to people that at best give us safety and maybe confort. We are afraid to admit that we love with our mind when, our heart is tamed by chains of ignorance and indifference. We are led by fear. Fear that maybe tomorrow we will starve, be homeless or have a huge fight with our partner and therefore break up. We got here because we question everything, we fear making mistakes, we fear walking a path and being led by feelings. Because fear is easy. Don't take risks and you won't get hurt. We have become accustomed to not wanting to hurt. But love transcends pain if you let it.

I would say we love wrong but, in fact, we dont love anymore. We simulate love. We experiment with feelings. Test people. We live in a superficial way. Our mind in the present, our heart in the past. We don't love because we think too much. Love is put into practice not thought about. Where there is too much fear, there is too little love. Maybe none. When you see someone you like and over think telling them, you already passed love through your mind's filter. You will chose not to every time.

Love knows no fear. 

Not fear of rejection. 

Not fear of defeat. 

Not even fear of suffering. 

Love dances and is always free, even, when the only music is played by busy minds. Love is not an impulse but an organ. A vital one, I would say but not for all. Many of us can live without love, easily so, just as we can live without a kidney. They are lost because they are oblivious. They think too much. When find the time to feel as well? You don't lose anything if you reserve your right to love. In fact, why reserve it? You were born to love.

Don't be afraid to give. 

Don't be afraid to give. 

Don't be afraid to take.

Love with your heart, your mind is too busy already discussing ideas, to bother with love as well.

It's so easy to be happy. Why are we so afraid?

There is no spoon.

There's a part in the matrix movie in which Neo goes to see the Oracle and there's a child who is in the room bending spoons with just his mind. When Neo inquires about how that is possible, the kid says he can bend the spoon, because there is no spoon.

The matrix is a construct and not a reality, so anything in it doesn't really exist, so neither does the physics that would normally rule over our existence.

It's funny how in life we give a false sense of reality and power to things that don't exist. We often submit to the fears of what we think to be true or what we believe might come about and not pay enough attention to the reality of our situations. We are slaves to our filtered and biased perceptions and they are just that, a perceived version of our reality, not reality itself. Dont lose yourself worrying about something that doesn't even exist.

Remember, there is no spoon.

Often time the things that trouble us the most reside more in our heads more than they do in our lives.

As they say, there is nothing to fear except fear itself. Because most of the time what you are afraid of is the unknown. Don't fear something that's not based on anything tangible, when in reality it's based on your own personal fears. You can overcome a fear that's based on nothing more than an emotional thought, by realizing that's all it is.

That's because there is no spoon.

Worry less about what might be or what you think is going to transpire and simply focus on the reality before you, in the moment you find yourself in. 

Be mindful of the future, but don't ever be fearful of it. Ever.

Because there is nothing to fear except fear itself and you have as much power over that fear you hide from as you want, because that fear is a construct and there is no spoon.

When He WANTS You. And When He NEEDS You.

There is a difference, 

Between a man that wants you, 

And a man that needs you. 

Yes. 

Oh yes. 

There is a difference, 

My love.

A man that wants you 

He sees something he craves. 

He salivates.

He watches. 

Ready to make his move, 

And he waits for his moment.

A man that needs you 

He sees a woman he deserves. 

He learns her. 

He looks into her eyes. 

And he does not hesitate, 

He makes his moment.

A man that wants you 

Will worship your body, 

Maybe the things that you say. 

He pleasures you, 

With the parts of himself he is willing to share. 

And he asks for little in return.

A man that needs you 

He will worship your body, 

And soul. 

And mind. 

And heart. 

He will possess you. 

And he will please you with everything he has. 

He demands all of you in return.

There is a difference. 

When a man wants you? 

He’s renting.

When a man needs you? 

He will own you.

When You Love Someone

When you love someone, you care about their well being, success, happiness, health and growth. You want them to be well and you'd be willing to help them if they needed it.

When you love someone, you respect them and cherish who they truly are. You accept their flaws and understand that while they may not be perfect, it's their imperfections that colors their personality with the humanity you adore.

When you love someone, they take up a place in your soul permanently. They are never far from your thoughts and often times you'll smile at nothing more than a special memory and a warm feeling.

When you love someone. You know it. You accept it and use that love in its proper context. Love will display itself in many different ways and has a different texture and application depending on the relationship with who you love. But love is also universal and true, it's a lot of things to a lot of people.

When you love someone. You care, truly and deeply. You don't just hand out platitudes, you hand them your heart and would do anything to help them if you could and they needed it.

When you love someone, you do all of that and feel that way regardless if you're in a relationship with them or not. Even if you haven't spoken in ages, they still have a special place in your heart. Love never grows old and love never dies, it's just sometimes we bury it under things like jealously and resentment that we no longer have access to it.

When You Kiss Her.

Kiss her like she’s the only woman that exists. She is. 

Kiss her with your fist full of her hair, pull her in in tight. She loves that. 

Kiss her with your eyes locked in hers. You'll own the moment. 

Kiss her until things around you blur away. They don't matter. 

Kiss her so you take her breath away. Literally, make her brain turn off. 

Lift her off her feet when you kiss her, even if only a little. She'll feel like a Princess and love you for it.

Kiss her like the world is about to end in an explosion around you. Life is uncertain, it might be about to end. 

Kiss her with hunger, anger, passion, possession, rage even but make her feel that energy pouring from you. Just do it. 

Kiss her so a passerby reaches for their phone to call the police. 

Keep kissing her when they arrive. Just. Fucking. Ignore. Them. 

Crush her lips, claim her lips as yours. She wants you to TAKE them. 

And don’t just curl her toes, cramp her toes! Make sure she remembers ‘That Kiss’ when you put your arm around her and walk away from that place. 

Just before you walk away together, kiss her forehead and tell her She's Sweetheart you loves truly. Let her melt into your chest when you do. 

When you kiss her

"Mean It."

Life Lessons!

Here's some random 'nuggets of pointless' that I've picked up in my 20 - something years.

Attractiveness

Women, generally speaking, think themselves less attractive than you think they are. This means, as a guy, you're sitting at the bar wanting to go over and talk to her, but you think she's too good looking for you, so you talk about football with your buddy instead. Meanwhile, she's over there wondering why no one is talking to her, and becoming convinced that she must look weird. Or her boobs aren't the 'right' size. Or her elbows are funny looking.

Lesson: It's a wonder we manage to breed as a species at all.

Sex

Most women like sex. Don't argue with her if she wants it. And for fucks sake - don't over think that shit. Give her what she wants. 

Lesson: Trust me, the world will be a better place.

Glasses

Women look better in glasses than men do. Almost without exception. And it's fucking annoying. 

Lesson: If you need glasses, be female.

Problems and Solutions

The world is made up of two types of people. Around 90% of us are the type that sees the problem, and tells you about it. While 10% of us are the type that sees the problem and suggests 3 solutions. The later type are typically your CEO's, bazillionaires, entrepreneurs, and general get-shit-done-bad-ass-bitches.

Lesson: Try not to be in the 90% . Even if you never quite get out of the herd, at least by trying you'll be a little less annoying to us 10%ers.

Dicks

Having a penis is excellent. Interestingly, in many cultures, simply having a penis affords you some additional benefits beyond simply being able to stick it into people. Or things. Some of these benefits are subtle, and some are utterly outrageous.

Lesson: If you have a dick, don't BE a dick. You've got it pretty good.

But here's the something I haven't figured out yet

Why - in my fucking twenties, can I still not spell 'necessary' without autocorrect helping me out?

The Fuck?