You get what you work for, not what you wish for - Santa

There are a million-and-one things on my wish list.

Flipkart knows it. 

Amazon knows it. 

Myntra knows it. 

Snapdeal knows it.

And some are things which can't be purchased but are on wishlist.

It's like a Best Buy exploded on a piece of paper. I've spent a considerable amount of my life wishing for things that I didn't have. It includes any number of things that strike my fancy. There have been things I've wanted, things that I've needed, things that I didn't know I needed until after I'd had a small taste and things I thought I needed but really didn't.

I welcome peace, trust, acceptance, and safety into my life. Thanks Santa.

Now, don't get me wrong, I've lived a blessed life. I can't tell you that I've always had the things I've wanted but I have never had to go without food on my table or heat in my home. But I've never had those things handed to me. I've always had to work for them. Hang with me for a second before you write this off as some poorly-crafted Republican informercial. The one thing I've realized is that being content pretty much amplifies who you already are.

The reality is that you get what you work for, not simply what you wish for.

As helpful as it would be- there isn't some whimsical elf like figure taking up residence in your home and reporting back to Santa what you want your relationship dynamic to look like. It seems like lately I'm continuing to stumble upon a number of people who are simple casting their cares on a wishing well and hoping things will change without any effort.

If you aren't willing to commit to rolling up your sleeves and getting your hands dirty- you're more- than-likely going to be sorely disappointed at the output of your dynamic. As much as the Fetlandia trolls would like for you to believe, relationships don't happen at the snap of the fingers. You don't demand for her to love and take care of you without navigating through her mind. It takes work. What makes you think she's going to trust you with her body when you can't take a minute to check on her throughout the day?

You want to show you care for her? 

Take time to run your fingers through her hair.

You want her to do your desires? 

Take time to prove you won't ruin her.

You want her to serve you? 

Take time to serve her first.

You want her to trust you explicitly without question? 

Take time to prove that you'll be there when things get rough.

You want to give you her soul? 

Take time to fucking work for it.

It takes less than five seconds to send a thinking about you text in the morning. You aren't less of a man for bringing her a cup of coffee when she wakes up in the morning (and if you think you are, let me know how she takes her coffee, and I'll bring it to her in my bed). Hold her hand and let her know she's safe. When she's had a bad day, listen to her vent before offering up solutions. If you promise that you're always going to be there, don't flake when she needs you.

Relationships of all kinds take an indescribable amount of work. But  in between, it requires a significant amount of additional effort to build trust. If you aren't willing to put forth the effort necessary to establish such an accord, you're only going to wind-up hurting them in the end. Quit wishing for a better dynamic. Put in the work and reap the rewards.

Abuse is not glamorous or cool.  It is never OK, under any circumstances. She wants to feel safe, respected and cared for by a man she can trust.

There are no shades of grey here. Not even one.